Every once in a while, we all need to find some humor in our lives. Here are some of my favorite supply chain, manufacturing, procurement, and other jokes
Today humor is needed, especially as the supply chain has been turned upside down with COVID lockdowns, out-of-control shipping costs, and container vessels that never leave port. I hope these jokes will bring a smile to your face and help you laugh out loud.
26 supply chain, manufacturing, and other jokes will help to brighten up your day and add some humor to your life:
1 – Supply Chain Manager’s Are Fulfilled
If lawyers are disbarred, clergypersons defrocked, electricians should be delighted, cowboys deranged, drycleaners depressed, and supply chain managers fulfilled.
2 – Counting Widgets
Why will someone say there are 1 billion stars in the universe, and you will believe them, but if you tell an inventory manager there are 20 widgets in stock, they will make you count them?
3 – A Priest, A Solider and An Engineer
A priest, a soldier, and an engineer were scheduled to be executed during the French Revolution. The priest is brought up to the guillotine and lays down on the table. The executioner pulls the cord, and the heavy steel blade descends… then shudders to a stop in the middle of the track. The executioner proclaims, “This is a sign from God that we should spare the life of this priest” The priest is set free to the delight of the cheering crowd.
Next, the soldier is brought up and laid on the table. The cord is pulled, and the blade again shudders to a halt in the same place. The executioner proclaims, “The grace of God is extended even to this soldier!” and the crowd goes wild with joy!
The engineer is brought up and laid on the table. Looking up, the engineer points upward, saying to the executioner, “You know if you tighten that one bolt right there, this thing will then work.”
4 – Machinery and Cents
The United States Mint Office decided to save some money on making their US coins; they bought a cheap coin-making machine from China.
The machine stopped working, and an Engineer was brought in to try to fix the machine. As the engineer looked at the machine, he realized that the hardware was completely different from the other American machines, and he did not understand how the Chinese coin machine worked.
In frustration, he screamed, “I do not understand this machine; it makes no cents!”
5 – Operation Managers Are Bilingual
All operation managers are bilingual because they can speak English and profanity.
6 – The Three Chinese Friends
Chu, Bu, and Fu all decided that they wanted to immigrate to America. To make it easier for them and to be able to get their visas, they decide to take on American names.
The Chu became Chuck
Bu became Buck
And Fu….decided to stay in China.
7 – Logistical Nightmare
Why did the supply chain manager always wake up in the middle of the night with a cold sweat?
He was having another logistical nightmare.
8 – Changing the Lightbulb
How many people in business does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to find a contractor. Another to make the contract with the insurance agent to buy electrical accident insurance. Another is to manage the stock price. Another is to organize supply chains of the lightbulbs. Another to deal with inspectors. Another to deal with human resources. Another is to import the bulbs from China. After all this, you are lucky if your lightbulb will work and only be out of stock for the next 2 days.
9 – The Near-Death Supplier
If you are a supplier and think nobody cares if you are alive or dead, try missing a couple of delivery dates.
10 – The Supply Chain Song
What do you get if you play a supply chain country song backward? You get your revenue back, your margins back, and your on-time delivery back …
11 – COVID 19 and Vegas
I wish Covid-19 had started in Las Vegas.
Because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
12 – Supply Chain Planners
How many supply chain planners does it take to change a light bulb? None, the light bulbs are late and not shipping.
13 – Master Zhi and The American Manufacturer
In a Zen monastery in the mountains of China, an American manufacturer decided to go to the monastery for some reflection and meditation.
When he was there, he had some questions about life in China that he was sure Master Zhi could help him answer.
The American found Master Zhi and asked:
“Master Zhi, why does everyone say that the Chinese people all look alike?”
He pauses for a moment and looks into the American manufacturer’s eyes and answers:
“I’m not Master Zhi.”
14 – MIssing Inventory
The easiest way to find that missing inventory is to place a new Purchase Order.
15 – Responsible Employee
An employer advertises for a Buyer and in the job description says, “For this buyer’s job we need someone responsible.
An applicant replies and says, ” I am the one you want; in my last procurement job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible.
16 – Procurement and the Manager
A Procurement planner says to the Manager, “what do you like most, my new forecast or my inventory projections?” The Manager looks at all the Excel spreadsheets and replies, “I like your sense of humor.”
17 – The Manufacturing Expert
A manufacturing plant was in trouble, and nobody knew why. The plant owner finally brought in an expert to fix the problem.
The expert walks in, inspects the equipment, takes out a chalk piece, marks one unit with an X mark, and promptly leaves.
The plant owner replaces the machine, and voila! Everything’s great working again.
A week later, the expert’s invoice reaches the owner – $5000. The owner is outraged. 5 grand for drawing one measly X mark on a machine – he was outraged. The plant owner writes a letter demanding an itemized bill, so he could ‘review expenses.’
The expert obliges and sends him an itemized bill as follows –
- Chalk Cost – USD 1.00
- X Mark – USD 1.00
- Knowing Where To Put The X – USD 4,998.00
18 – Manufacturing Table Tops
What is the worst thing about manufacturing tabletops?
It is so counterproductive.
19 – Children’s Playground Manufacturing.
I just lost my job manufacturing children’s playground apparatus
This children playground industry is all swings and roundabouts
20 – Submarine Manufacturing
I used to work for a submarine manufacturing company.
Unfortunately, it all went under
21 – Boeing Spring Matresses
If Boeing was a Spring mattress manufacturing company,
They would name their spring mattresses “*Boing* 747”.
22 – Dracula Toy Manufacturing
My friend and I started a business manufacturing Count Dracula toys
I was not very happy as I had to make every second Count
23 – Nuts and Bolts Manufacturing
They asked how my job manufacturing nuts and bolts were going?
I told them it was quite “riveting.”
24 – Glass Coffin Manufacturing
I decided to start a glass coffin manufacturing business.
My banker asked me if I thought it would be successful.
I replied to him that it “remains to be seen.”
25 – Satis-Factory
What do you call pleasing manufacturing?
You can say it is satis-factory.
26 – Calculator Manufacturing
I recently had to sell my calculator manufacturing business.
The numbers I saw just were not “adding up.”
Hope you have enjoyed Laughing Out Loud (LOL) with us!
At Mondoro, we create, develop and manufacture home decor and home furnishing products.
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